The agony of keeping up with the homesickness is indescribable.
It's beyond words;
and everything that runs in your bloodstreams.
It's like madness that loses its fulfillment.
It's suffocating to the extent of breathing is suicidal.
It's wrapping you up and getting you nowhere until it doesn't feel sick anymore.
Or you just simply surrender and fade away.
When your heart cries in silence for everything that goes wrong and everyone that goes away but somehow you don't feel like keeping each one of them anyway because disappointment has engulfed you and letting go is the only thing left to do, life suddenly changes from spring to autumn, from the hopeful bright morning to a cold dark night. You can always return but you prefer to keep it like that for only God knows how long.
Sad? No.
It is called reality.
And some things are better left unsaid.
The heat gradually cools off. I remember sleeping in our hot bedroom one day as the temperature allows. Our bedrooms are unbelievably hot during the day in the summer due to afternoon sun while our living room remains cool.
But there is this constant heat that seems to resist. I wonder how one could manage being told and blindly believe without even putting an effort to verify. I guess one needs the complete episodes of Pinocchio. The Kdrama version that is.
Anyway. See you later, alligator.
The agony of keeping up with the homesickness is indescribable.
